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Public Library Article

Title: Isn't being self loving selfish ?
© Spiritual Metamorphosis 2003

Dear Fiona,
Don't you think that giving yourself the power to take responsibility for your well being could lead to an immense life upheaval? How can we always do the right thing for our selves without damaging the people around us? Isn't it selfish? I really feel that my well being comes so far down in my priorities after children, existence etc. that I've forgotten what might constitute well being. Can you give me some guidance? MF

Reply:
Dear MF,
Thank you very much for your email. I am so pleased that you have given me feedback on your experiences and your thoughts about the work we have been doing with you. This is taking responsibility for your well being!!! Congratulations.

It is quite common for people to think that taking responsibility for your own well being is selfish. Many people become disturbed when they look at life from this perspective and realize there are many things they don't really like, but feel they cannot get out of because it would hurt some one else. This is a very big fear for kind-hearted people and those who, like being a mother, have a duty to care for less capable people.

However, our perspective and our experience is that being responsible for your own well being actually helps other people rather than harms them. Imagine yourself as a bank that is giving money away to people. If you do not look after the "income" of the bank you would soon have no money to give - and all the people who depended for their living on being bank employees would be out of a job. Those people most valuable to others are those that are themselves healthy and can empower others to be healthy in their own right.

Of course there are situations which are personally very uncomfortable and where it would be completely wrong to give up responsibility. Obviously looking after kids is an example. But as far as adults are concerned you can usually be "creative" in your discussions with them. Just like Suzie was saying today - those people who adjust best to a change in circumstances are those who think up solutions to help the "company" AS WELL AS making sure they are comfortable with the adjustments.....

love
Fiona